photograph courtesy shelby farms park
Canoes + Cocktails
Shelby Farms Park, 6903 Great View Drive
Friday, June 10, 7:15 p.m.-9:45 p.m.
The worst genre of books: self help. Why? Because 74.62 percent of them are a pipeline to becoming a part of a cult. And, no, I’m not basing this statement on anything other than my personal “Sounds Like A Cult” radar, but I’ve yet to be proven wrong, thanks to the lack of evidence-based research. But have no fear, I’m here to change the self-help game with my new (definitely not culty) book Planning Your Weekend in Memphis For Dummies. Since copies cost $1 million (and don’t exist), I’m giving you a sneak peek of my top-notch advice in lieu of this week’s “5 Things to Do This Weekend.”
My first chapter revolves around how to give your weekend a little direction but not too much, ya know? Sometimes you gotta go with the flow, but other times you gotta put your foot down. I think I’ve got the vague inspirational mantra stuff down. Don’t you think? No? Okay, let me illustrate with an … illustration. Consider Shelby Farms Park’s Canoe + Cocktails, where you go with the flow of the guided tour, letting the current and the canoe leader take you across Hyde Lake to catch an unrivaled sunset, but of course to quote Katherine Hepburn, “If you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.”
After the 45-minute paddle, enjoy yard games, firepits, and music. As for food and drink, tickets include the option of a specialty cocktail, wine, or beer and an individually packaged snack. Canoes + Cocktails repeats on Fridays through September. Reservations are required, and ticket prices range from $35-$80, depending on your boat rental selection.
And while we’re talking about Shelby Farms Park, be sure to check out its Get Outside! Fitness Programs, which are free to attend and do not require registration. An all-levels yoga class will be offered this Saturday, June 11, 9 a.m.-10 a.m.
photograph courtesy elmwood cemetery
True Crimes of Bygone Times: A Walking Tour of Elmwood Cemetery
Elmwood Cemetery, 824 S. Dudley
Saturday, June 11, 10 a.m.-11:30 a.m.
Chapter 2 will focus on knowing thy enemy and which enemies to boot from your weekend’s plans. After all, do you really want someone peddling their self-help mantras to get you into a cult at your Sunday brunch? Do you want to split the eggs Benedict with someone who married seven times and maybe, probably, definitely killed at least three of her spouses by poisoning them? I think not.
Now, since I can’t possibly list off all the warning signs in this tiny paragraph to help you build up your own “This Person Might Not Be Great to Spend Time With” radar, I suggest turning to an external source by attending the 90-minute walking tour, True Crimes of Bygone Times, at Elmwood Cemetery, where you can hear (get this) true crime stories of the 19th and early 20th centuries and where, through your own deductive and inductive reasoning, you can learn the likes of people you might want to avoid (unless, of course, you’d like to be a part of this tour in a century).
Tickets ($22) for this popular tour can be purchased online. If this weekend doesn’t work out for you, you can also register for the June 25th tour. Good walking shoes and weather-appropriate attire is recommended.
photograph by shelby williams
High Expectations Aerial Arts’ Open House
High Expectations Aerial Arts, 319 Cumberland Street
Saturday, June 11, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.
Chapter 3: Get out of that comfy comfort zone. Listen, I get it, a weekend of binging Stranger Things’ fourth season sounds lovely, but sometimes, it’s nice to do something that pushes your adrenaline and curiosity without having to live vicariously through a group of Dungeons-and-Dragons-playing, monster-fighting, and Kate Bush-loving Indiana teens. Instead, you could spend your Saturday learning to crochet or reading about cartography or you could try suspending yourself from the ceiling while hanging on some aerial silks.
If you’re in the demographic where aerial arts is in your comfort zone, I don’t know what to tell you — other than you might be too cool for my book. If, however, you’re looking for an aerial-arts opportunity to fly out of your comfort zone before my book’s publication date of never, you gotta check out High Expectations Aerial Arts’ Open House. To celebrate its new location on Cumberland, the studio is offering free (that’s right, free!) classes for adults and kids on Saturday. All you have to do is register online, wear non-loosey-goosey clothing, and be comfortable with strangers seeing your bare feet. Also that day there will be short performances, informational sessions, and giveaways. A schedule for the exciting day can be found here.
photograph courtesy le bonheur children's hospital
Le Bon Appétit
Crosstown Concourse, 1350 Concourse
Saturday, June 11, 7 p.m.
The working way too long and probably too cheesy title of Chapter 4: If you’re looking for the recipe for some good weekend plans, good food is the secret ingredient. If you’re looking for a recipe for good food, this is not the book for you. I’m not a chef, just a failing self-help author, but I can direct you to an event hosted by chef Kelly English where more than 30 award-winning chefs from Memphis and throughout the country will come together for an extraordinary culinary showcase that will leave your taste buds inspired and will benefit Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital. Tickets start at $250 and can be purchased here.
Bonus tip: Food for thought can also turn a dull weekend into a great one. “The Art of Science” at Crosstown Arts is just that. In collaboration with Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital and University of Tennessee Health Science Center, this exhibition, free and open to the public, explores the beauty of science, featuring art inspired by the work of area researchers and clinicians. The show will be on view until September 4th.
photograph courtesy orpheum theatre
Million Dollar Quartet
The Halloran Centre, 225 S. Main
Performances through Sunday, June 12
The fifth and final chapter — What can I say? I’m partial to things that come in five — will touch on the importance of planning for sit-down time during the weekend. And, yes, that can include binging Stranger Things’ fourth season, but let’s face it: Half the time you’re binging something, you’re also scrolling through your phone or folding laundry or getting up to let the dog in and out, in and out, in and out, dear Lord, why can’t this dog be content on the sofa with me? And all those distractions can take away from the relaxation of the sit-down time. But there exists a place where none of those factors will affect your viewing-time pleasure, where phones must be turned off and put away, with the threat of public shaming if you so much as look at it to check the time. That place is none other than the theater.
And you can’t go wrong with this Tony Award-winning smash hit: Million Dollar Quartet. The premise: On December 4, 1956, four young musicians come together for their first and only recording session together at Sun Records in our very own city. The four musicians: Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Carl Perkins. The outcome: timeless and enduring hits like “Blue Suede Shoes” and “I Walk the Line.” Your arms: covered in goosebumps. Your jaw: on the floor.
Tickets ($47.50) can be purchased online. Performances at 7:30 p.m. run through Sunday, June 12th, with a Saturday and Sunday matinee at 2 p.m.
