There is certainly a lot of foolishness going on these days, no? I guess it's always been that way, but it seems that people are just getting, well, stupider.
Yes, I said stupider. Since this is an April Fools-themed issue, I'm going to take some liberties. I'll go back to the journalistic stylebook next month. Every night, I see Stupid tax-evaders and stupider investors doing perp walks in front of TV cameras. Stupid decisions leading to stupider consequences.
I'd be the fool if I thought foolishness was a new thing. A quick look at some of history's brightest minds on the subject:
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to advice.
— Proverbs 12:15.
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
— Alexander Pope
Fools give you reasons— Wise men never try.
— Oscar Hammerstein II
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
—William Shakespeare
There are more fools than knaves in the world, else the knaves would not have enough to live upon.
—Samuel Butler
I'm not foolish enough to think that my words would ever have the worth of, say. Billy Shakespeare's, but I have some thoughts on the subject myself. So here goes:
FOOLISH THINGS
• Shamwow commercials
• Decaf, non-fat lattes (why not just order a water?)
• Diet ice cream
• Smoking
• Me, for still doing it
• Hair plugs
• Perms
• Fake flowers
• "Fun sized" candy bars (Wanna make it fun? Make it as big as my arm)
• Buffets
• Tennessee divorce laws
• Ketchup on hot dogs
• Mayonnaise on anything
• Drinking the milk after the expiration date
• Colored contacts
• Cutting your own bangs
• Me, for still doing it
• Thinking you can get an 8 percent return on a penny
• Being mad at the person who promised you the ridiculous return, not yourself
• Taxes on groceries
• Not yielding to ambulances or fire trucks
(there's nowhere you have to be that's more important, I guarantee)
• Waiting until deadline to write an editor's letter
• Me, for still doing it.
Happy April Fools, everyone.
