Gift-buying season is in full swing, so we thought it was high time to bring back our much-anticipated, highly laudable Memphis Craigslist Shopping Guide. Sure, you can buy brand-new, more sensible gifts elsewhere, but why not take the plunge and see how your giftees respond to one of the following options from the best (worst?) on Memphis Craigslist?
150 TY BEANIE BABIES - $200 (east memphis)
Remember when everyone was going nuts for these cute little bean-filled plush toys? Folks couldn’t buy them up fast enough, insisting, “This is a great investment! Do you KNOW how much these will be worth?!” Well, now we know: roughly $1.30 each. For $200, you can snag 150 of these soft babies for your favorite friend or loved one. Added points if you wrap them individually, so they really think they’re getting something. “Ok, what’s in the next one?!” [unwrapping] “Oh, a… nother… beanie… baby…” [fake smiles]
Adult depends XL great deal!!!
We all know that one person who just ALWAYS has to go. Save your friend a few trips to the bathroom with these adult Depends. The seller apparently has the hook-up: “I have Depends unlimited 17ct packs for a great price 5.00.” With an “unlimited” supply available — at just 5 bucks a pack — you may be able to mark off everyone on your (gag gift) list right here!
Would you just look at this? On offer is one “Ron Burgandy Panther lamp” — a sweet, stylish item that would spruce up just about any living room, den, or *ahem* bedroom. We’d imagine it’d also work as a great mood enhancer; turn the lights down low, flick this baby on, and prepare for the action to happen. “60% of the time, it works every time.”
Pole ten feet long - $16 (memphis)
Imagine all the creative uses for this 10-foot pole! Well, I can't think of many off the top of my head. But, just imagine! (Also, file under: "Hard-to-wrap" gifts.) EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that this would make the perfect Festivus pole. Let the "Airing of Grievances" begin!
Mannequins......GOING FAST (Kmart, Austin Peay Hwy)
Kmart's loss is your giftee's gain this season. Assuming some of the mannequins on offer have heads, perhaps you all could set up a party scene à la Home Alone to thwart potential numbskull burglars.
Happy Holidays, y'all!
