photo courtesy skyy blair
October 24, 2019: I waited for the elevator to return me to the first floor of Minglewood Hall. We had taken over the top floor, turning it into our production offices for the pilot shoot. People were everywhere, but I was typically locked away with my showrunner, TV-writing veteran Sara Finney-Johnson, who created hit shows like Moesha and The Parkers. We were making changes to the script that would be filming the very next day. In rooms nearby were my producers, director, and AD going over final shot-list changes. Casting had called more extras for the next day; wardrobe were busy hashing out fashion details. The leading ladies were getting their makeup and hair tests while everyone was awaiting the imminent arrival of the BET executives. This would be their first time visiting Memphis, and I didn’t have time to be nervous. We still had to get the script right. But as I waited for the elevator, the floor was rather silent. It was almost time for the official table read, and it couldn’t start without me.
I made my way out of the elevator and walked into the 1884 Lounge. We had sectioned off the area near the stage and made a giant circular table. All around it were the cast of CURVES, the pilot that we were shooting, the pilot that I wrote. No matter if you had a big part or one line, you were at the table. On one end were four chairs set aside for the BET execs. On the other end were five more place cards: Sara Ragosgi – Producer, Melissa Jones – Director, Deniese Davis – Executive Producer, Sara Finney Johnson – Showrunner, and Skyy Blair – Supervising Producer/Writer. I looked at the card with my name on it and the script sitting in front, then pulled my phone out and snapped a photo. I never wanted to forget that moment.
This was happening. All my hard work. All the years of rewrites. And all because I decided to say YES.
As the BET execs made their way to their seats, I looked around the room. Behind the table were some of the crew and friends who were invited to watch the table read. We wanted to see what jokes worked so the audience was key. Deniese started to speak about the reason we were there, for a table read of the TV pilot, CURVES, written by Skyy. Everyone in the room began to clap. I nervously smiled, still not used to the love and praise. When she asked me to speak, I didn’t know what to say. Up until then I had been in “Go” mode, trying to juggle my full-time job, getting off work and coming straight into the office to work on the script. But in this moment, with my cast, crew, friends, and executives looking at me, I became overwhelmed. I said, “Thank you all for being a part of my show,” and then it hit me. My voice trembled and cracked.
This was happening. All my hard work. All the years of rewrites. And all because I decided to say YES.
photo courtesy skyy blair
Two years earlier I had picked up Shonda Rhimes’ book Year of Yes. I purchased the book when it came out but never made time to read it. But on that day, something told me to start. Shonda talked about doing what she called a “year of yes.” During that year she promised herself that she would say yes to things she would normally say no to. That included events that she normally declined and things she normally wouldn’t try. I listened to the book in one day and immediately decided that I would do my own “year of yes.” My main goal would be stepping out of my comfort zone. This led me to the American Black Film Festival (ABFF). For years I had followed this event, always saying that I would go the following year. But something kept stopping me. So my first official act in my year of yes was to purchase my pass for the festival. I felt a newfound sense of accomplishment just clicking the ‘buy’ button. I was invigorated, ready to say yes more.
Here I was, doing what I always did, talking myself out of something because of fear. That was completely against my “Year of Yes.” I pulled out my computer, gave my script one more look, and submitted it.
For the last few years I had been working on a TV pilot, aiming to create a Sex and the City but for plus-sized women who looked like me. I shared the idea with my mentor, Craig Brewer, who told me it was a great idea. I had gone back and forth with the script, writing and rewriting. I didn’t know what I was going to do with it, but I was happy with the most recent draft. I figured I would hold onto it a little longer, just in case it wasn’t ready.
A few months before ABFF there was an announcement about a new contest, called the BET/Color Creative Script to Screen Competition. I was familiar with both BET and Color Creative, which is Issa Rae’s production company. I read over the guidelines and while I thought that I could enter, I wasn’t really sure if I should. The last thing I wanted was to get turned down by Issa Rae. But the contest wouldn’t let me ignore it. Everywhere I looked I would see articles about Issa Rae, BET, and even ABFF. The deadline was approaching, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that my pilot wasn’t ready. But then I heard Shonda’s voice saying, “Year of Yes.” Here I was, doing what I always did, talking myself out of something because of fear. That was completely against my “Year of Yes.” I pulled out my computer, gave my script one more look, and submitted it.
I didn’t expect to hear anything. I honestly thought there was no way an untrained novice like myself would advance to the semi-finals. I knew my pilot was different and fresh, but was the writing good enough? I kept waiting for the rejection email, but I made it as far as the quarter-finals, then the semi-finals, and finally learned that I was one of three finalists and that BET was now covering all my expenses to ABFF in Miami, the year that I finally said yes to attending.
Everything felt surreal. I was still going to ABFF, but now not just as a spectator. BET and Color Creative pulled out all the stops. We had VIP access to events, panels, and star-studded parties. BET set up a private mentoring session for us to talk to professionals, from Karen Gist, the showrunner of the hit Fox show Star, to Connie Orlando, then BET’s head of programming. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, in walks the one and only Issa Rae, a person I had admired since the moment I found Awkward Black Girl on YouTube. Sitting at the table having lunch with all these incredible people, Rae started to discuss our shows. She talked about CURVES, giving details of my script. I knew I had to be dreaming because I never thought she was actually going to read my work. In fact, all these professionals had read our works and gave up their time to be there with us. I knew that weekend could never be topped; surely there was no way I was going to win. I was just happy to be “in the room where it happened.”
What would happen if you took the chance and said yes to things you would normally refuse? It could open you to new experiences and ideas.
They didn’t pick a winner then. Instead, those of us in the running were entered into an executive bootcamp. For months they treated us like anyone else creating a show. We got notes from Color Creative and BET. We made changes to our scripts. And finally they said they would notify the winner by calling each of us personally. I was coming up on the end of my “Year of Yes” and within that year I went from a girl trying to write to a finalist in a nationwide contest with thousands of entrees. All because I said yes.
The day of the winner announcement I sat in my room alone. It was the same room I stayed all the time when I was trying to avoid the world. I thought it offered me everything I needed, but now, I wanted more. My fellow finalists were incredible and seemed so much more advanced. I had my “Thank you for helping me thus far” speech all ready for the call.
My phone rang and a number from Los Angeles appeared on the screen. Deniese Davis of Color Creative and Daniel Stitt of BET were both on the phone to tell me the news: I was the first winner of the BET/Color Creative Script to Screen Competition.
photo courtesy skyy blair
And now, two years later, I sat at the table crying in front of my entire cast and crew. It all came rushing back to me in that moment: All the self-doubt that almost stopped me from entering the contest to begin with. The nights of sitting at my friend’s house waiting on the emails to find out if I was going to the next round. The first trip where BET flew me to LA when I first met Sara Finney-Johnson. And all the pre-production work, learning all aspects of television production. The next day we started four long days of filming CURVES on the streets of Memphis, the city that made me, the city where Issa Rae championed for me to be able to film, even though Atlanta would have been more lucrative. My pilot was employing locals, even if it was for a short while, and those locals were also mostly black, brown, and women. All of this happened because I said yes.
To this day I try to follow the theory of yes. Saying yes to things that pull me out of my comfort zone. So many people miss out on life because of fear — fear of the unknown, fear of failure. What would happen if you took the chance and said yes to things you would normally refuse? It could open you to new experiences and ideas. 2020, this insane year of the coronavirus, has opened my eyes even more. As I walked on set for the first time, as I watched actors I now call friends becoming the characters that I wrote, and as I walked into Memphis locations I’ve known with my entire life now transformed to the visions I wrote, I realized the challenge is totally worth the reward.
All it took was a YES.
