LOVE — In the Time of Covid

Couples, wedding venues, and related businesses found ways to adapt.

by

If 2020 is remembered for anything beyond the heartbreak of COVID-19, it will be for the many ways in which we were challenged to recalibrate, to improvise, to discover our resilience as we muscled through a most turbulent year. It turns out those traits were particularly crucial for couples who decided to fly in the face of convention and marry during the pandemic.

Brides with gauzy vision boards faced hurdles galore, from an ever-changing landscape of health and safety regulations to the shuttering of bake shops and reception venues. Wedding plans changed — and changed again. Guests lists that had swelled to 200 before the virus got winnowed down, lavish receptions gave way to more intimate affairs, and Facebook Live watch parties and Zoom meetings became the new way of uniting family and friends.

Through it all, however, a silver lining emerged: The resulting ceremonies became far more cozy and meaningful and a year of significant ups and downs proved the perfect path to learning just what partnership is really all about.

Martea and Joe Jackson 

Martea: Assistant Store Manager, Starbucks

Joe: Lead Logistics Analyst-Supply Chain, AT&T

Martea Jackson had long dreamed of getting married in her favorite city, New Orleans. She spent months meticulously planning her April 11th wedding, where friends and family would gather as her father proudly walked her down the aisle. Then March blew in.

“Have you been watching the news recently?” asked her mother. “I think the virus is about to get very bad.”

“Of course, I was in denial,” Martea admits. “I thought Mom had just been watching too much news.”

New Orleans had some of the worst covid cases early in the pandemic. The city’s shutdown was swift. Several days later, Martea received a call from the hotel — the Jackson ceremony would have to be canceled.

“I was devastated,” says Martea. “The day of our wedding, I cried all day long.” Joe understood his fiancée’s grief, but he gently reminded her, “It’s not about the wedding, this day is about us.” She saw how calm he remained under pressure. “He kept bringing to light that we have each other.”

As the pandemic raged on, Martea lost her job. Now a wedding seemed impractical. In late summer, the couple decided instead to marry at the Shelby County Courthouse. But the Justice of the Peace office was so busy, the first available date wasn’t until September 9th.

“I thought, hmm, 9/9/2020 — that’s a date my husband will remember!” Martea says with a laugh.

When their wedding day finally arrived, Joe met his bride at the courthouse during his lunch break and the two exchanged vows, their year-old son bearing witness to their love.

Martea firmly believes there’s always a rainbow at the end of the storm. “I got to be the wife I’d envisioned,” she says. “I got the prize I’d always hoped for. It just wasn’t in the way I’d expected!”

Now, the couple plans to have a vow renewal ceremony on their anniversary, when Martea will finally wear her beautiful wedding gown and her father will give her away to Joe, the man of her dreams.

Tennison and Shea Gabrielleschi 

Tennison: Development Associate, Germantown Performing Arts Center

Shea: VP Southeast Region, CRA Partners 

Tennison’s father thought he knew best when it came to finding a partner for his daughter, Tennison, so once she moved back to Memphis, he called an old friend to see if his son, Shea, was still single. They reluctantly agreed to a blind date and nine months later got engaged.

The couple set their sights on early May and mailed their invitations just weeks before the lockdown when “no one could have predicted how big the virus was.” The couple twice rescheduled their reception, initially moving it to August 2020, “because we were SO sure the pandemic would be over!” laughs Tennison, who admits she was in “deep denial” about the virus initially. But ultimately, the couple didn’t want to hold off the marriage.

The wedding finally took place in Church of the Holy Communion children’s chapel with a small gathering. Afterwards, friends caravanned to their house, with signs of congratulations waving in the breeze.

Between managing the twists and turns of wedding plans, two postponed receptions, and working the majority of 2020 from home, “It feels like we’ve been together much longer than a year,” says Shea. Yet they learned how each manages stress.

Upon reflection, “I love the experience we ended up having,” says Tennison. “There were a lot of hard decisions that had to be made over the year, but in the end, it was really special.” Shea found many silver linings. “It brought everything down to the basics,” he says, “and helped us appreciate the wedding and our marriage.”

Lindsey and Shane Pierotti

Lindsey: Cardiac Sonographer, Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital

Shane: Sales Manager, IMC Supply

We didn’t know if it would get better or worse,” says Shane, “but waiting wasn’t in the plan.” That’s how Shane summarizes the couple’s decision to marry during the pandemic, just nine months after their engagement in August 2019. Both in their early 30s, the couple believed 2020 was their year.

So they set their sights on April 25th at St. Louis Catholic Church. Then the pandemic struck and their vision of a big church wedding got steadily downsized as safety guidelines dictating gathering numbers dropped — from 100 to 50 to 10.

“In our minds, we’d invited 350, but we realized as the date got closer that people wouldn’t be able to travel,” says Lindsey. With movement restricted and businesses closed, she had to bid farewell to her 14 bridesmaids.

When their priest got sick, “we had to scramble to find another,” says Shane. “At two-and-a-half weeks before the wedding we decided we couldn’t have the reception.” (In fact, the couple never had one as Lindsey became pregnant a month later.)

In spite of the setbacks, “We came together as a team easily,” says Lindsey. “We went with it, we rolled with the punches, and became more spontaneous in our decision-making.”

When their wedding day finally arrived and everyone was safely gathered and masked, they stated their vows before their immediate family with Lindsey’s sister as maid of honor and Shane’s father as best man. A Facebook Live watch party aired for guests. Ultimately, the intimate affair was a blessing. “We didn’t have any distractions,” says Shane. “We were focused on the moment and the meaning of marriage.”

After the church ceremony, friends surprised them with a drive-by parade, their cars festooned with crepe paper and congratulatory signs. A mini-reception at Shane’s cousin’s home on the river proved the perfect place to finally relax.

Through the process, “We found more in common than we knew before and we learned how we deal with hard situations,” notes Shane. “When we look back on it now, it’s the best thing that could have happened,” adds Lindsey. “There was just no stress and it was very meaningful.”

Maddie and Michael Robinson

Maddie: Optician, Eclectic Eye

Michael: Audio Technician, Shea Clinic

Maddie had previously worked at The Dixon Gallery and Gardens, so she knew she wanted that beautiful setting for her wedding. When the couple got engaged in May 2019, they chose May 2, 2020, for their nuptials.

They immediately began planning but ten months later, the unthinkable happened. “I was in Arkansas [for his bachelor party],” remembers Michael, “and I was thinking, ‘It’s the swine flu, it’ll be over in a week,’ ”

Instead, the CDC announced an eight-week shutdown. With their wedding date falling on week seven, the news left the couple reeling. “I had no idea what we were going to do,” admits Maddie. “A year of planning went down the drain. … I remember thinking, ‘We’re not getting married, or at least not the way I thought we might.’”

They pushed the bigger reception celebration to July at the Dixon but decided to keep their May wedding date, “because our parents had been such rocks through the process,” says Maddie. “We wanted to make sure they were there.”

The couple’s wedding became an intimate backyard affair with the immediate family. The two exchanged vows with Maddie wearing a simple dress she’d ordered online two days before. A Zoom session allowed the bridal party and family to watch virtually.

“All I saw in Maddie was pure strength and durability,” Michael says proudly. “It would be easy for some girls to wait and want the big party. It meant a lot to me that she wanted to marry me without the celebration. I think she chose me and not the limelight.”

On July 17, 2020, Maddie did (finally) get to wear her formal wedding gown and walked down the aisle to where her groom and dear friends, safely masked, awaited. The garden was beautiful, just as she hoped, and those who meant the most were there.

“I felt guilty about celebrating and wondered whether people should be coming out,” she says. “It was very scary but my photographer said, ‘It will be okay, don’t feel guilty, we’ll make the most of it.’ And we did.”

Through a year of travails, Maddie found “Michael was a constant. When I was having countless breakdowns, he’d remind me it wasn’t the end of the world, that we’d figure this out together — that we’re in it together — forever.” 

Businesses Found Ways to Adapt

Many of the city’s most popular wedding venues went dark during part or all of 2020. The spring lockdown halted business, which furloughed some of their staff, and many employees worked from home, stretching for months after the May reopening. As the city of Memphis gradually came to grips with health regulations and learned to maneuver to keep people safe, stringent safety protocols followed.

While wedding business fell off by 50 percent at the Memphis Pink Palace Museum, David Branch, the special projects manager, found ways to adapt. The museum reopened in June 2020 on a limited basis, offering to reschedule or give full refunds to bridal parties that were on the books for 2020.

“Some couples left to go to another city or state with fewer restrictions, but the majority rescheduled,” he says. The biggest challenge was keeping up with the Shelby County Health Department’s safety restrictions and communicating the rules swiftly. Branch’s vast knowledge of the facility enabled him to produce room layouts that provided adequate social distancing. “Managing client expectations — that was the biggest challenge,” he says.

The Dixon Gallery and Gardens hosts 25 to 40 wedding ceremonies a year in their two garden and pavilion locales. During 2020, however, that number shrank to 10 as brides scrambled to reschedule. Since the museum is considered an attraction by the city, their status further complicated matters.

“There was a lot of uncertainty about how weddings could happen, how many people you could have,” says Sarah Catmur, venue rental coordinator.

To keep updated, Catmur routinely pored over Health Department notices. She also kept abreast of how other venues were handing safety concerns by logging onto a Facebook wedding vendors page where strategies were shared. Bridal parties also got creative. One couple handed out color-coded wrist bands allowing guests to signal how willing they were to mingle with others. Several others created personalized masks for their guests.

This year looks more promising. “We’re still following directives and city guidelines per masking and social distancing,” says Catmur. And now that couples know how many guests have been vaccinated, “that’s making things more helpful. There’s less anxiety.”

Nicholas Janysek, director of sales, events, and marketing for the Hyatt Centric Beale Street, says being vigilant about enforcing health regulations is critical, especially given the constant presence of social media. No one wants a picture leaked of 150 people on the dance floor with everyone unmasked.

“You have to think about what that image does to your revenue going forward,” he says. “It’s not just about breaking the rules but how that image might tarnish your reputation. Nobody wants to be responsible for the next super-spreader event.”

The hotel had customized cards printed up that could be included in wedding announcements outlining their safety protocol.

Other vendors used technology to their advantage. Ashley Lang Events, an events planning business, relied heavily on Zoom meetings to discuss plans with brides and vendors. Says co-owner Mallory Lester, “We still have brides we haven’t met yet. There have been lots of Zoom meetings, we’ve booked vendors and held budget meetings, but we’ve not met some in person yet.”

Creative Studios created 3D renderings of popular wedding venues and posted it online at memphisweddingvenues3d.com so clients can see venue spaces without visiting in person. Adaptation proved key in 2020.