Camel-JangledNerves5
Okay, I've gotten a little behind on my reading — I'm finally up to the October 1933 volume of the Memphis Press-Scimitar.
But how am I supposed to keep up with the news of the day, when I keep getting distracted by things like THIS?
It's a test for "jangled nerves." In fact, it's Test No. 6. (I never saw any others — so this may be a trick.)
The instructions are simple — well, if you're the kind of person who still carries half-dollar coins around in your pocket or purse.
Look, just go find one somewhere, and with a pencil, trace a circle around it. NO, that is NOT the test — though it's certainly hard enough.
Here's where it gets tricky. Now, take a quarter (note that the instructions specify a "real" quarter — not one of those fake ones) and place that inside the half-dollar circle.
Whew? Finished? How many times did it take you do that correctly?
NOW you're ready for the test.
Important: This can't be done alone. Find someone — anybody will do, really — and ask them to time you. Tell them you need "only 10 seconds of their time." They will be alarmed, but they are probably used to these crazy requests by now. I know Basil is, but I pay him to stick around and help me with things like this.
Okay. Leave that quarter in place. Take that same pencil, and WITHOUT TOUCHING THE QUARTER, draw a circle around the quarter WITHOUT TOUCHING THE LINE.
Yeah, good luck with THAT. (I gave up just trying to find a half-dollar.)
But as you can see, a "normal" person should be able to draw at least three circles, before their mind snaps and they start scrawling all over the page.
And if you can't even draw ONE circle, then you, poor devil, have "jangled nerves."
But wait, you say: "What does this have to do with Camel cigarettes"?
Well, read the fine print below the illustration. You may be pleased that you managed to complete three circles. But that's nothing: "Major William. C. Brooks (Camel Smoker), famous stunt flier, completes 5 circles in 10 seconds."
And it's all because he smokes Camels!
Okay, back to my crumbly old newspapers now.
